One word...chipmunks

You may remember that we live in a house that is over 100 years old. You may also remember that one of us was touched by an unseen visitor one night. Well, the creepiness continues.

The night before last Mike had fallen asleep in the living room chair watching TV and I was in bed with my other partner...the cat. It was exactly 3:30am when the cat and I were suddenly awakened by a noise in the kitchen (which is right next to our bedroom). It sounded like somebody had taken one of the large plastic drinking cups and thrown it across the room! There was nobody in the kitchen and no windows open and for about an hour the cat and I sat in silence and stared nervously through the bedroom door into the kitchen.

In the morning I asked Mike to look in the kitchen to see if there was something on the floor. He looked under the table in the corner farthest from the sink and said, "Yes, Ben's thermos from his lunchbox is on the floor. Why?"

I told him what had happened and he looked into the sink. The lid for the thermos and the small mound of leftover applesauce that had been inside were in the sink...and the thermos was out of the sink and all the way across the kitchen.

I felt a chill go down my spine. "What could have done that, Mike?!"

He answered with one word...

...."Chipmunks."

Huh?!

He went on to tell me that he and Ben had heard a rustling noise in the cabinet under the sink the day before and that he had seen a chipmunk in the backyard recently that had scampered into the house through a small hole.

How could a chipmunk pick up that thermos from inside the sink and then chuck it all the way across the kitchen? And besides, I didn't hear any singing....

May is National Foster Care Month

May is National Foster Care Month!

This picture was taken of Ben several years ago when I worked at my previous job with NACAC . A group of concerned community members helped my family tie 200 ribbons in this tree as a reminder of the number of children in our area who were in foster care at the time.

Most people are tragically unaware of the issues surrounding foster care. Most people have no idea of the number of children who are unable to return to their first families and are now waiting for permanent families. Most people also have no idea that 70-80% of these children are thought to have been prenatally exposed to alcohol.

But I believe that most people would care and would do something if they did know these things.

So we need to tell them.

And we need to thank the foster parents in our community who open their homes to children who have experienced trauma, abuse and prenatal exposure to alcohol and other drugs. Mike and I were foster parents for many years. It wasn't easy and it was an often times thankless and exhausting experience.

But we can do something about that, too.

Please leave a comment if you have found a tangible way to thank or support a foster parent in your area. And to all of you who are currently fostering....

Thank you!!!

GOFAS

There is so much trauma and pain in the world right now that it is hard to know how best to help. I received an email yesterday and I would like to share part of it with you. If you are moved to help in some way please email me.

This email is from a woman I met last summer while she was in Minnesota. Her name is Regina Opoku-Boakye. She attended a training I did on FASD and then took the infomation and her passion back to her country and started GOFAS- the Ghana Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Here is an article about what she is doing!

She has very little funding and a LOT of work to do. Here is part of what she wrote to me...

There is a school for mentally and physically challenged kids, and they need a lot of help especially educative materials such as playdough, tension relieve balls, color paints and pencils etc... Would you please see if you can aquire some of these things for them?
In as much as I am preaching about FAS, it would be nice if I do something for those kids to make them feel loved. I would appreciate any gift including used clothes. ~Regina

I am not doing this in connection with my work as the organization I work for is not able to provide resources internationally but I would like to put together a package for Regina and the kids she will be seeing soon. I think my kids will enjoy doing this, too. Please let me know if you'd like to put some items in the box I will be mailing to Ghana! Thanks!

One more thing

I can't sleep. I think I'll try to get a few hours of work in before the kids get up but first I need to purge some thoughts.

Anna and I saw her pediatrician yesterday. He ordered an EEG for Thursday and set us up to see a pediatric neurologist next week. Once again I am reminded of how fortunate we are to have our pediatrician who understands FASD and knows our family so well.

I had a difficult day yesterday and several times I found myself struggling to hold back the tears. I know that seizures are common with FASD and that thousands of people live very normal lives with them, but it's just that it is one more thing. One more struggle for a little girl who already has so many struggles. One more evaluation. One more professional in our lives. One more medication to consider.

I'm just tired of climbing hills only to find another hill beyond the last.

I guess if this had happened in isolation I would be handling it better. It happened instead at a time when my sister is not doing well, my grandma is slipping quickly into dementia and my daughter Katie is getting married and leaving home. (Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about Katie's upcoming marriage, just sad to end the chapter of her life where her daddy and I were the ones taking care of her.)

And I'm struggling with work. There are times that I am incredibly motivated by my work but right now I am having a hard time feeling like anything I do is going to make any kind of a difference. My sister was prenatally exposed to alcohol and now alcohol is slowly taking her life and Ben and Anna will always have neurological scars from their prenatal exposure no matter what I do. I know that I'll work through this but I'm feeling a little battle weary right now.

Speaking of work, I need to try to get through some emails before the kids get up.

We drive a 15 passenger van, not an especially fuel efficient vehicle. We thought about selling it a while ago but decided to drive it while we finish paying it off. We plan to buy something smaller after we've paid off the van and banked a year's worth of payments.

We may not be able to bank anything if gas prices go any higher.

Anna and I went to Sam's Club after the bridal shower on Saturday and as we were leaving I noticed that the gas tank was empty. Our Sam's Club has a gas station where members can save a few cents per gallon so I pulled up and started pumping my bargain $3.53 per gallon gas.

$50, $60, $70, $80...the numbers kept coming. I was tempted to stop the pump but was strangely absorbed in wonder at how high these numbers would go before my tank was full. The numbers started to slow and then they stopped...at $99.99.

The pump did not stop because my tank was full, it stopped because I had reached the limit of what a customer there could purchase in a single fill-up.

Over $100 to fill the tank?! We're going to do a lot of walking this summer!

Yesterday Mike and Anna rode the tandem bike, Ben and Adam each rode their bikes, and I walked to church. (I enjoyed some "me" time on my leisurely 10 block walk!) Minnesota's weather is not always conducive to bike riding or walking but on the days when it is possible we will certainly be hoofin' it or pedalin'.

We have a large wagon that hooks on to Anna's trike. I wonder if she can manage to pull $300 worth of groceries home from Sam's Club next month?!

Seizures?

Anna was a bundle of neurological fireworks as our church service started this morning. Those are really the only words to describe it. She was seated next to me and her typical fidgeting was more like slamming, jerking and lashing out. She was very intense. She was also mad because her Sunday school teacher had given her a sweet treat and I wouldn't let her eat it in the sanctuary.

Then, all of a sudden, Anna was still. Her complete stillness was certainly "different" behavior for Anna but I was listening to the verses that were being read and I didn't pay much attention to my suddenly calm child until Ben poked me and said, "Mom, something's wrong with Anna."

Anna's head was laying against my right arm and her body was motionless except that her left hand, the one touching my leg, was twitching. I looked at her face and her stare was blank. A few minutes later she responded to me when I asked if she was alright, but she didn't move. Anna, arguably the most hyperactive kid on the planet, leaned on me completely still for the rest of the 80 minute church service (we had communion and a baptism so it was longer than usual).

Ben was noticeably worried. He stroked his sister's hair, an action that normally would have resulted in a fist fight between the two, and kept asking if she was OK. I told him that I thought Anna might have had a seizure but that she would be fine. He didn't look convinced.

Seizures are very common with FASD and there have been a few times before when I've wondered if Anna's blank stare was more than just daydreaming. There have been times when she's lost bowel control during the night and I've wondered if that was seizure related. I've always dismissed the thought pretty quickly by telling myself that I worry too much but I can't dismiss it this time. Anna sitting completely still through an entire church service is just too eerie.

I'm calling her pediatrician tomorrow.

Mothers Day & The Great Begonia Brouhaha

I gave my mom a hanging basket flowering plant for Mothers Day.

I wish I could give her a healthy daughter (my sister, now in late stage alcoholism, is not doing well), and a healthy mom (my grandma is slipping deeper into dementia every day). I wish I could make it all better like she used to do when she put band-aids on my skinned up knees.

I hate the feeling of not knowing what to do to help. A hanging basket just hangs there but I just didn't know what else to do.

For my Mothers Day Mike and the kids bought me some flowers to plant in the boxes near our front porch. I love the bright colors they chose...purple, orange and yellow! We'll plant them after church and then go spend some time with Mike's mom.

A few of the flowers that the kids bought me are Begonias. I haven't planted that kind of flower since I was pregnant with Kjirsten 22+ years ago because they bring back memories of The Great Begonia Brouhaha. Want to hear the details? Of course you do!

Mike and I had been married for about 9 months when I found out I was pregnant. Shortly after the happy news was confirmed I started bleeding. I had an ultrasound and we found that I was pregnant with fraternal twins but it appeared that I was miscarrying one of them. I was given a strict order of bedrest.

We lived at that time in a little mobile home. It was cute and we were poor so it fit our needs at the time. Mike was working long hours at his job as a carpet salesman and I was laying in bed all day in a hot stuffy trailer in the stinking hot late summer months of 1985. The poor guy would come home at the end of the day and ask how I was feeling and I would break down and cry or throw something across the room and yell, "I'm feeling HOT and I'm sick and tired of laying in this bed. How do you think I'm feeling?! You did this to me! Maybe you should have to lay here, too!"

I'll admit that I wasn't very nice.

One weekend I mentioned (very nicely and sweetly, I'm sure) to Mike that he should weed the pathetic little flowerbed I had planted in the front of the trailer. The begonias were disappearing in the jungle of weeds and even though I couldn't see them from my bed in the back of the trailer, I knew they were there and I wanted more than anything to go outside and do it myself but I couldn't. Mike agreed to take care of the weeds and he went outside.

It was at that point that I heard the lawnmower start up.

My dear husband mowed down every last begonia and then came inside and proclaimed that he had taken care of the problem.

For years after that I would utter the word "begonia" whenever I felt that I was losing an argument. It has served me well. Twenty-three years later I still think of that incident whenever I see those flowers...and now they will be planted in the front yard again.

Thankfully all these years (and a hysterectomy) later, I can weed them myself this summer! Happy Mothers Day!

Long Day for Anna

Anna was exquisitely well behaved at the bridal shower today....refined, respectful, quiet and ladylike.

She helped me with grocery shopping and then did great at the adoption / baptism celebration this afternoon, too!

This was Anna when we got home around 7pm. There was no calming her, even when we took her up to bed. She kicked and screamed herself to sleep. She had definitely reached her limit.

Economically Stimulated- just in time!

WooHoo. Mike and I have just been economically stimulated.

It felt good, especially now considering Katie and Clayton's wedding is in less than 3 weeks!

The average wedding costs $20,000-25,000 in our country. Yikes! What are people thinking?! That's a car or a downpayment on a house...and it is being spent on ONE DAY?! I am so thankful that Katie's focus has never once been on impressing anybody with this wedding. She isn't caught up in details and she wants small, simple and fun. What a blessing it is to be her mom.

Yesterday afternoon Anna, Katie and I met with the organist at our church to plan the music. We've known this woman since Katie was in Kindergarten and she made our visit with her so much fun! Our church's organ has a trumpet feature that is somewhat rare and the organist suggested that we make use of it by having Katie walk down the aisle to Trumpet Voluntary . She played it beautifully and I looked over at Katie and saw the tears welling up in her eyes. Mine were already streaming down my cheeks. I can't imagine what my mushy husband is going to do when he hears it as he walks his little-girl-turned-bride down the aisle. I need to remember to stick a hanky in his tuxedo or he is going to wipe those snotty tears all over the sleeves and we'll have to pay a damage fee.

I had assumed that Katie would want to walk down the aisle to Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring like I did 24 years ago. That wasn't what Katie wanted but she is having her bridesmaids enter with that song. I'm glad Katie chose what she wanted for her day instead of trying to please me by doing what I did.

That's pretty much it for the music other than the recessional. There will be no soloist and no hymns for the congregation to sing. Katie wants the service to be short and sweet, primarily because of the special needs of many of the people involved. One of her bridesmaids is a teenage girl who Katie works as a personal care attendant (PCA) for. This girl has cerebral palsy and a traumatic brain injury and probably won't be able to stand long. Anna is the flower girl and Ben is the ringbearer and this is an evening wedding..need I say more? I just hope they don't duke it out on the way down the aisle together. Blood probably won't come out of Anna's white dress.

Many of the people attending the wedding either have children with special needs or have disabilities themselves. The two men who will be passing out the programs have developmental delays and Katie has PCA'ed for them for several years. They are best friends but fiercly competitive and are already challenging each other about who will be the best program-passer-outer. This could get interesting.

I need to finish balancing my checkbook today so we can budget for the rest of the wedding expenses...but that will be after this morning's bridal shower for Katie and before this afternoon's adoption and baptism celebration for some friends of ours. Celebrations are happening all over the place!

Out with the Old

I finally updated my template to the new Blogger layout. I was putting off editing my link list because it was difficult with the old template and this new layout makes it much easier. I added some new links but I did it pre-coffee so I know I forgot some people. I'll keep working on it.